Allan A Dale and the Journey Back
by freelf13
Summary: Allan A Dale used to be in love, hard as it was, with Merry. The other girl in the gang (an OC). When Allan turns sides, he still cant get her out of his mind. This is a fic about chance meetings between the two that leave Allan wondering if Gisbourne's money is really worth everything he thought. Sorry its a bit out of order, i'm treating Season 2 as a blur of events until the end
1. Step 1: In Lardner's Ring

"Take her back to the castle." Gisbourne said lowly. "There she will be tortured, questioned for Hood's plans."

"And." the sheriff interjected. "If she refuses, she'll simply hang. Go." He waved a hand at the guards and they turned, the struggling and tied Merry on the horse. The gang watched in horror as they disappeared into the trees.

"We will get her back." said Djaq, determined.

"Not while Robin's still in 'a tree, we won't." said Will, taking careful aim between Robin and Marian.

Harley lay, tangled in her chains, in not a cell but a bedroom on the floor by a chair. The door opened with a scrape, and Allan was tossed in with a repugnant "Oi!" Harley gritted her teeth.

"Sherrif's orders. Says he knows what she is to you." said a gruff-voiced guard before he closed the door on them with a harsh bang. The lock clicked, and Allan remained where he stood.

"You don't deserve that kind of treatment." Merry spat at him.

"They threw me in here!" cried Allan.

"That's what I mean."

" Harley…"

"No!" she cried harshly. "You don't get to say anything to me! You are working for the man that killed my brother, killed Will's father, killed your family!" Allan made a few steps forward.

"You stay back!" she cried again.

Allan stayed silent. Merry was weeping silently now. Allan rushed forward before she could stop him, and she struggled but he wiped her tears with his thumb.

"What makes you think." she said, low and deadly "that I still love you. What makes you think you still have a right to anyone in our gang?" She kicked at him and he toppled backwards.

"I don't! I don't!" Allan held up his hands. Merry kicked until she was upright, and she took his collar in her chained hands. Her red hair fell over her eyes, casting them in a golden glow. "What are you thinking?" She shook him. "I know of the money that tempted you, but what's with this continuity?"

"Robin wouldn't take me back." Allan said. "I had to find something to do, I couldn't stay in the forest. Robin would kill me." She shook him again. "Not the killing kind." she quoted. "He would not kill someone who was once his own."

Allan thought he sensed a softness in her. He reached for her cheek with his hands but she pushed him and he fell.

"Make no mistake." She shot at him. "You are not our own anymore." There was a strained silence, broken by her grimacing admittance. "But. You have not betrayed Marian nor our camp site. You can start your journey back to light if you really want to." Allan shook his head. "Robin wouldn't let me back."

"You don't listen." Merry said.

"No I do!" He interrupted. "I do, but I'm not stupid, Merry, I know I wouldn't be let back and even if I was, you wouldn't take me back, so what's the point?"

"To help the poor!" She burst. "To save lives, to take revenge on the sheriff and his knights, to avenge Will and yourself and Robin and me! And." She lowered her voice with resign. "You aren't completely out of the question." Allan's eyes brightened. "You're a traitor." She said quickly, flaring up again. "And a liar, and no better than the sheriff." She sighed, immediately sorrowed again. "But like I said, you can be redeemed, though only just."

"How?" he sighed. She smiled in spite of everything. And seeing her smile made him smile."

"You can let me go. I'll go to Robin again and keep fighting. And the rest is on you. You're on the inside you could really help us now." Allan looked at her before he looked at the floor.

"Merry!" Djaq jumped from the top of the camp and ran toward her friend. "She is back! She is back!"

Merry grabbed her hand and they ran back to the camp. She embraced Robin, Will, John and Much in turn.

"How did you escape?" Will asked. It was silent for a moment as everyone looked at her with question in their eyes. More silent than the camp of outlaws had ever been. Once again, Merry was the one to break it.

"Allan…let me out."

"Allan?" Robin snapped. Much pulled himself up to his full height and said "Well." John and Will looked at the floor. Djaq lay a hand on Will's shoulder.

"Why?" asked Robin.

"I talked him round."

"Round like, back onto our side?" Will asked, barely too quickly.

"No. I only told him there was possible redemption." She said, eyes on Robin. He held her gaze too long, and then turned away.

"Well." he said. "I suppose Merry back is all we've got to be happy about today."

"Where's Marian?"


	2. Step 2: In Angel of Death

"Pies." A voice with derision echoed around him. A loud smack that meant feet hitting pavement. "Did you know about the pies, Allan A Dale?" Allan spun around, unsheathing his sword. With a clatter, it fell to the pavement, Merry had a hand up in defense.

"No, actually." Replied the other, struggling to keep his composition. Merry's red hair fell in her eyes as she stooped to pick up the sword. He backed against the corridor wall as the blade flashed uncomfortably close to his throat.

"You can't kill me, can you though?" Allan said. "I saved you. I let you out' the castle last time you were here." She stopped too quickly, lowering the sword. Allan stayed where he was, unconvinced.

"I could kill you." She said casually. "You haven't got any moral say so about it." Her accent made the "o" in "about" round out, and he wanted to kiss her, putting all of the harshness of her words aside.

"But you're right, I won't." He relaxed, but she was not finished. She backed him up, pushing the blunter blade of the sword up against the dip in his throat.

"You're going to give me all of the Bella Donna from the castle kitchens. As a thank you." She pushed against him. "For not murdering you where you stand." He couldn't help but notice she still wore the necklace he had given her, watching it swing hypnotically beside the Robin Hood tag on her collarbone. He, with all of the willpower he could muster, shook his head.

'The sheriff catches me and he kills me. Guy too." He said. The sword flashed in Merry's hands, and then the sharp side pushed into his shoulder. Beads of blood began to form there.

"Well, there's the chance that they catch you and flog you. Or there's the obvious scenario of people all over Pitt Street." She lifted the sword, revealing a shallow gash. "Dying." She began to walk, rounded the corner, and he heard the clatter and clash of two guards going down. He turned and watched her step over them.

"And I think it's pretty obvious." She called back, without turning round. "what the right choice is."

"But I've turned, haven't I?" Allan called, determined that this wasn't over, that she wasn't going to leave, and getting angry at all the taunting. "Apparently I don't do the right thing anymore, do I"

Merry turned around, eyes flashing. She walked with unwavering decisiveness and obvious barely controlled anger. She left her sword in the sheath and threw his on the floor, instead pushing him against the corner with her hand softly over his throat.

"I'm still not clear on why you're doing this." She said through gritted teeth. "Was it the money? The fancy new trappings?" She picked at his waistcoat with her middle finger.

"I'm not being funny" said Allan, through equally gritted teeth "I could get out of this easy, but I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Why not?" she spat. "Why, because I'm a woman? Because you're not "all bad?" She mocked him. Allan's anger was dangerously close to breaking, and he finally burst,

"Because I love you!"

Shock flitted across Merry's face for only a second, then she tightened her grip on his throat.

"You remember when I said there was room for redemption?" She asked him, firmly avoiding his gaze, and the subject at hand. She moved her face within an inch of his. "Go get the Bella Donna." She whispered. "And bring it to me here." She let go of his throat and kicked his sword to him.

"You let me go." She whispered, "and despite myself, I'm grateful. Keep doing things like that." She emphasized the "that."

"And not like this." She ran her hand down the shoulder of his black vest. Allan turned toward the kitchens, trying not to look back at her, trying not to think about her not answering him and his outburst. When he gave in and spun to look at her, she and her red hair and her golden brown eyes and her necklaces were gone.

When he came back with the Bella Donna, concealed in an inconspicuous bag, it was a stoic and silent Will Scarlet that watched him carefully from the rooftop, saying nothing as Allan threw the bag up though the corridor roof. When he thought about it after, Allan was sure he saw Will nod. Only just, before he disappeared back into the Pitt Street quarantine. He also thought, when he looked through the barricades, that he saw flashes of red.

But that may have just been his mind slowly waking up to the enormous gravity of what he had done.


	3. Step 3: In Get Carter!

AU WHERE MERRY IS IN THE CAMP INSTEAD OF MARIAN WHEN ALLAN COMES LOOKING. IM NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

"You could've had my eye out!"

"Oooh, you've got some nerve." Merry breathed. She was trying to wrench her dagger from the tree bark. He didn't back away or move forward, so their shoulders were touching.

"What do you want, anyway?"

"I was only looking for Marian."

"Marian?" She raised her eyebrows and gave a short little bark of a laugh. "Marian?" She turned from him and walked to the other side of the little clearing. He followed her.

"For Gisbourne?" She asked lightly, turning around. "Or for you?"

"For Gisbourne!" He said, disgusted, picking up what she was putting down. "It's not like that, blimey!"

She smirked.

"She'd never take you anyway." She said.

"Thanks." He said.

"It's true."

Where there should've been an uncomfortable silence, there was a violent rustling of leaves as realization dawned on her. She advanced on him, quickly. Hand shuddering over her dagger hilt.

"You're not going to tell him where she is!" She said. Her eyes were flashing. It wasn't a question, it was a demand.

"Of course not!" he protested. She stopped. His back hit the tree. They both looked mildly surprised.

"You're not." She said again, and he heard the wonderment. His eyes were wide, like he was hurt.

"No!" he said. "Look, I'm not all bad, am I?" She gave an ardent little chuckle.

"Yeah." She said darkly.

"I'm not."

When she spoke again, she wasn't looking at him.

"She's gone out with Robin and the others." She said shakily. "Tell Gisbourne –" Her voice immediately stopped wavering.

"Tell Gisbourne he can go fuck himself." She whispered. He laughed without thinking.

"I'm not being funny," he said "But do you want to see me die bloody?" When she looked at him, a smile ghosted her face. Her eyes were wet. She tried to hide it.

"No." She said. "You are a traitor." She spat the word like she was angry, but he knew better. "But no."

"I'm not all bad." He said again. "And for the record." He had angrily cut across her impending retort. "I'd never, ever go for Marian. Not with you around." It wasn't flirtatious or suggestive, it was demanding and angry. It was putting-my-foot-down tone. It was offended and hurt. The teasing, the playfulness, the sarcasm, was over. She looked disbelieving at him.

"Don't start that."

"But I said it last time, didn't I?" He looked angry. "I love you. I meant it, Merry, I wont take it back."

"Well I won't return it." She snarled. Then, in a softer tone, "I can't."

His mouth formed a thin line. His blue eyes pierced her. Then, without warning or build-up, without tenderness, he kissed her. Hard, on the mouth. His kisses were hard and misplaced, but also gentle and frequent and familiar, and when she unwillingly closed her eyes and opened them again, he was looking at her, hurt and sadder than she had ever seen him.

"Only checking." He muttered. "Only hoping." And then he was gone.

Allan a Dale sat in his room for three hours, feigning illness and wondering what he had been thinking. What the hell had he been thinking?


	4. Step 4: In Show Me the Money

I REALIZED I NEVER REALLY ELABORATED ON WHAT MERRY LOOKS LIKE OTHER THAN RED HAIR, SO THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO ESTABLISH ON THAT A LITTLE. I MIGHT DO A FLASHBACK CHAPTER FROM BEFORE "DUCKING AND DIVING" ABOUT THE NICE, SWEET PARTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THE NEWER CHAPTERS AND THAT? ANY REQUESTS?

- FREELF13

"She's not in 'ere." Allan said breathily, both hands on the doorknob.

"She must be." Gisbourne sounded desperate. He pounded on the door and raised his voice.

"Marian!"

"Look, I'm telling you, she's not 'ere."

Menacingly, Gisbourne hoisted Allan by his collar.

"Find her." He dropped Allan like he was a mildly disgusting bug and stomped away.

Allan waited, breath held, until Gisbourne's footsteps died away. He breathed a very audible sigh of relief. The knob, digging into his spine, clicked open and he stumbled into the room, shocked. The door slammed behind him. Allan shook his head.

"Merry 'at wasn't funny. You could've been killed."

The hooded figure, now shuffling cautiously out from behind the door, looked back at him.

"Why didn't you let him?" A voice spat from under the hood.

"Very funny." He pushed back her hood with a gloved hand. Her short red hair was clipped back, but it fell over her face, casting it in shadow. The cloak swished around her, revealing an inconveniently low cut top. Allan cursed under his breath. She ignored it. He didn't blame her.

"I'm here on my own today. No Robin." She said. Her mouth curled down a little at the edges to uphold her thick accent. "So no need to raise your little alarm."

"What're you doing here?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Why? Do you have to tell Gisbourne?" She made a dramatically serious face, forming her small mouth into a pout.

"No." he said shortly. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn't. After a few minutes, she turned away from him.

"It looks like you're not going to leave, so I'll do this later." She said.

"What're you doing?" he asked again. When she spun to look at him, she looked angry.

"I'm cleaning up the mess my leader made, alright? Mine, not yours, so this doesn't concern you."

Allan snaked around her to the window and saw the crosshatch arrow and the curtain.

"Marian finally bolted, eh?" Somehow, without another…associate of Robin's in the castle, Allan suddenly felt much less sure of himself. His voice shuddered slightly when he said,

"I dunno if I can let you do that." But Merry already had her daggers in her hands.

"We'll see." She said simply. "And anyway I'm not doing anything with you in the room." She peered down out of the window. "And I'm not letting Gisbourne get his hands on me."

"No." Allan said too quickly. "Right, he doesn't need to." Recovering his composure, he said,"I can handle it."

Merry actually laughed. "We both know that's not true." But Allan wasn't listening.

He was looking at her.

Really, looking at her.

At first, it was the necklace. The Celtic knot he'd always kept in his pocket for good luck before Robin found him, the one he'd strung up all by his lonesome and tied round her neck two Christmases ago. She was still wearing it, despite his months away. _Away?_ But then he saw the outlaw tag swinging beside it, nestled in the sweep of her collarbone, the one touched by the curls of red hair that swung down over her round face, giving it a beautiful imperfection. Her cloak was a gift from John, and her vest was just like the one Djaq wore, only over a deep wine colored shirt. And he'd always loved that she wore trousers instead of skirts, and that she laced her boots over them. Her eyes, golden brown like freshly baked bread, flashed when she was angry. Their most recent look to him was contempt, confusion, even…dare he say sadness? He was looking at her, really looking, and he couldn't believe it. She was so comfortable, so familiar, so good.

And here he was, fighting her.

"Yeah." He mumbled.

"So are you going to let me leave?" She asked him, and it sounded serious. Like he had a choice.

"I can't, Merry, you know I can't."

"Yes you can."

"Gisbourne'll have my neck." She looked angrier than before. Angrier than when he had un-hooded her.

"Gisbourne." She said. "I don't care about Gisbourne. I hate Gisbourne." Every time she said it, she forced it out like a bad taste. "Gisbourne."

"You used to hate him too." She said, and his stomach plummeted. "I thought you were doing better. I thought you were rethinking all this."

"Robin won't have me back." Allan said, decisive as she had ever heard him. "So what does it matter."

She had him pinned against the wall so quickly he barely had time to raise his sword. Her cheek was bloody when it clattered to the floor, out of his reach, and she kicked it away. She wasn't stunned at the cut nearly as much as he was.

"Merry…"

"Don't." She was crying, actual real tears. He had never seen him cry before.

"I don't know what else to do, Allan. I've tried everything."

The tears and the blood were mingling, and he wanted nothing more than to wipe them away. He kept his face stoic and set.

"I've told you it matters. I've told you everything that matters." Her teeth were grit. "I've told you it was your choice because I thought you'd make the right one. And I thought you were. You saved Will, you haven't told anyone about the camp about Marian." She shook him, and he nodded.

"But now, now you can do something about it." She released him. "You back out. You back away." She was at the window before she spoke again. "You could really help us now. Insider information."

She grinned slightly, the tears falling faster. "Insider." She whispered. "I can't believe you're an insider."

Her head snapped back up again, she kept using her strong voice.

"If this is who you are now, I can't help you." One foot out the window. "If this is who you are now, I'm giving up." When he looked up at her, when tears pushed at the back of his eyes, when he wanted nothing more than for her to keep pushing because he was so close to listening, she was gone.

"Allan!" Gisbourne's cold, deep voice echoed through the drafty corridors.

Allan couldn't bring himself to answer. Couldn't do anything but wait for Gisbourne to come in, see the window, see the curtain, see the arrow, and blow open a whole new circle of hell.


	5. Flashback: When She Met the Gang

HOW MERRY CAME TO JOIN THE GANG. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK!

-FREELF13

The gang clumped between the trees, listening hard, confused but at the ready.

"I hear something." Much whispered excitedly.

"Help!"

A new cry cut through the trees, sharp and very clear. Robin waved his hand and they darted forward into the clearing, weapons drawn, looking up.

"Let me down!"

Robin opened his mouth to laugh at the woman, hanging by her shoulders from the tree.

"She does not look rich." Djaq said, confused. The rest of the gang lowered their weapons at her words.

It was true. The woman in the tree did not wear a long silken dress, or even well-made trousers like Marian's. She was dressed…not unlike an outlaw.

"Oi, Djaq, she's wearing your vest!" said Allan, peering up.

"Let me down!" The woman said again.

"Alright, alright!" a smiling Robin lowered the rope to the floor, and with one flash of a knife she was free. She held up her own dagger in front of her, pointing it at all the men's noses. They maintained their stances, pointing swords back, closing her in.

It was only now they could see her full on, that they could see how worse for wear she was. While it was true she was wearing a vest like Djaq's over a dark wine tunic, she looked raggedy. Her brown trousers were torn in some places and her boots were scuffed and much too big. She had what looked like tear tracks tracing through the dust on her face, and her short red hair was choppy. Her eyes were big and golden brown and flashing in the sunlight, angry and scared. Most astonishing, however, was the fresh gash that cut down her left cheek, bleeding copiously onto her jawline.

"I don't have money, I swear." She said, not taking her eyes off anyone.

"I'm like you, I'm an outlaw like you, Robin Hood." Her accent was definitely northern.

Robin lowered his bow and stood straight in front of her. She tensed her grip on her dagger but made no other moves.

"You're wounded." Robin said.

"So?"

"So we can help you."

"I don't need help." She said quietly, but not rudely.

"What's your name?" Robin asked gently, hand out against the dagger. But the girl wasn't listening. She was looking directly at Will, who said,

"Merry."

"What?" Everyone turned to look at him.

"Her name's Merry." Will said. "She lived in Loxley. We were kids together." At that moment, the woman's knees gave out and she buckled. Allan rushed forward and she fell into his arms, Will and Djaq jumping to her side.

"We'll bring her back to camp." Robin said firmly. "Will." He turned to the young carpenter. "Can we trust her?"

"Of course." Said Will quickly. "I always did." Allan complained, ("I don' want to carry a girl I dunno!") but he gave in and cradled her close to him as they trudged the short hills back to their makeshift.

"She has lost a lot of blood." Djaq said.

She fed her hot broth and treated the wound, and eventually Merry came around.

She felt her face gingerly, and found Allan staring at her.

"She's really good." He said. "Djaq."

"She's brilliant." Merry said. "Where is she, I want to say thanks."

"Eating. With the rest. It was my turn to watch."

"Oh." Merry said shortly. "Thanks."

"Oi, If you grew up in Loxley, how come I never saw you?" Alan asked "I knew everyone."

"Well, I'm about nine years younger than you." She said, swinging her feet over the side of the bed. "But I know who you are."

"'ow?"

"Your brother." She said. Allan looked hastily at the floor, determined not to look anything but indifferent.

"He was hanged in Nottingham…a few days ago." She said. "I saw. I'm sorry. He was a good man."

He looked up at her.

"I'm no' the only one who's lost family, am I?" He asked, knowingly.

"My older brother." She said, not looking away from him, keeping her gaze fixed on him. "Gisbourne killed him in front of me."

"When."

"Last week." She didn't break his gaze. Allan didn't say anything, just let his mouth hang slightly open. When it was clear neither of them wanted to talk about it anymore, Merry stood up.

She was almost out of the space when she turned.

"I do know you though." She said, emphasizing the "you".

"When I was three and you were twelve, I was crying because I didn't have a hollysprig at Christmas like the other kids. You stole one from your mum and gave it to me." She smiled a crooked smile and laughed. Allan laughed, but when he looked up she was just turning away and walking toward the fire.


End file.
